2026 Newsletter 1: Special Issue on Succession
Navigating Difficult Conversations in Family Farm Succession Planning
by Renee Wiatt & Veronica Bullock
Succession planning in family farming operations requires more than just financial arrangements and legal documents. At its core, successful farm transitions depend on effective communication between generations—a skill that many families struggle to master. Understanding why communication breaks down and learning how to facilitate difficult conversations can mean the difference between a smooth transition and years of family conflict.
Why Communication Fails
Family farm operations face unique communication challenges that extend beyond typical business relationships. Past experiences with unsuccessful conversations about farm management often create reluctance to engage in future discussions. Generational differences in communication styles, the fear of losing control, and resistance to change all contribute to communication breakdowns. Many family members don't understand different perspectives within the family unit, leading to assumptions and misunderstandings that fester over time.
The complexity of farm succession adds another layer of difficulty. These conversations involve not just business decisions but also legacy, identity, and deeply held emotional connections to the land. When family members avoid these discussions, critical planning steps get postponed indefinitely, potentially jeopardizing the farm's future.
The Foundation of Effective Communication
Research consistently shows that how we communicate matters more than what we say. In fact, words account for only seven percent of our total message, while tone of voice contributes 38 percent and body language comprises a substantial 55 percent. This means that approaching difficult conversations with the right attitude and demeanor is crucial to achieving positive outcomes.
Effective communication in family farm succession requires several key skills. Focus on positive outcomes and what's best for all parties involved. Use "I" or "we" statements rather than accusatory "you" statements that put others on the defensive. Practice active listening by showing respect for the speaker, paraphrasing their meaning to ensure understanding, and asking clarifying questions. Avoid making assumptions or generalizations about family members' intentions or desires.
Communication should be a daily practice, not reserved only for formal meetings or crisis situations. Regular, informal conversations build trust and make difficult discussions more manageable when they arise.
Best Practices for Family Farm Communication
Establishing clear communication protocols helps prevent misunderstandings before they occur. Families should agree on preferred communication methods—whether text, email, or phone calls—and set expectations for response times. All agreements, including lease terms and important decisions, should be documented in writing. After significant discussions, summarize key points and action items in written format for all parties.
During conversations, use polite and respectful language consistently. Listen to concerns and feedback without interrupting, even when you disagree. Schedule regular check-ins to address ongoing issues before they escalate. Clearly explain expectations on both sides, and when concerns arise, provide prompt, clear responses. When conflict emerges, approach it with a level head, focusing on resolution rather than assigning blame. Aim for solutions that work for both the incumbent and successor generations.
Importantly, families should make time to be a family beyond the constant focus on farm operations. Building strong personal relationships creates the foundation of trust needed for difficult business conversations.
Strategic Conversation Starters
Beginning difficult conversations can feel daunting, but using thoughtful conversation starters helps ease into challenging topics. These questions serve different purposes in building understanding and moving succession planning forward.
To build trust and rapport, the successor generation might ask about the farm's full history and how it has been kept together or evolved over time. The incumbent generation can learn about the successor's earliest farm memories and their vision for the farm's future with their own children.
Demonstrating concern for each other's wellbeing opens pathways for honest discussion. Successors should inquire about retirement goals and timelines, ensuring parents can retire when they wish. Incumbents can ask how successors plan to balance farm management with personal and professional commitments, acknowledging that farming is a lifestyle, not just a job.
Paraphrasing what you've heard shows active listening and creates opportunities for clarification. When the incumbent generation expresses a desire to keep the farm in the family for multiple generations, successors can ask what tools and documents are in place to achieve that goal and what expectations they have. Similarly, when successors express interest in greater farm involvement, incumbents can explore what specific steps they plan to take.
Open-ended questions about long-term goals—asked by both generations—invite expansive thinking about the farm's future rather than yes-or-no responses that shut down conversation.
Addressing Decline and Capacity Issues
One of the most difficult topics families face involves recognizing when a family member is experiencing physical or mental decline that affects their ability to manage farm operations safely. These conversations require exceptional sensitivity and careful planning.
When decline is suspected, those close to the affected person should first meet privately to gather multiple perspectives and determine whether intervention is necessary. The group should decide how the situation will be supervised, when group check-ins will occur, and how communication will be documented among supervisors.
If intervention is needed, gather people who have observed issues and are close to the affected individual. Discuss observations gently, allowing the person to express their own perspective. Approach the conversation calmly and offer specific options or next steps, such as supervision for certain tasks, reducing physical work, or having another person assist with farm financials. Critically, do not automatically jump to removing the individual from their home and familiar environment, as this can be traumatic and unnecessary.
The Power of Family Meetings
Family meetings serve as the engine that drives succession planning forward. Research shows that the two traits most found among healthy families are shared decision-making and effective communication. Family meetings facilitate both, yet most families underestimate the importance of this type of structured communication.
Family meetings differ from tactical operational meetings about daily farm tasks or emergency sessions to address crises. Instead, they provide opportunities to discuss important, long-term, strategic issues related to the farm's future. They ensure everyone stays on the same page, management records remain current, and legal documents align with the incumbent generation's wishes. Most importantly, family meetings create dedicated time to move succession planning forward in measurable ways.
Creating Effective Family Meetings
Successful family meetings require preparation and ground rules that create a safe space for honest dialogue. Establish clear guidelines from the outset: everyone takes turns speaking, all opinions and ideas are respected, participants listen to learn rather than to respond, and members critique the message rather than attacking the messenger.
Additional practices enhance meeting effectiveness. Rotate leadership responsibilities so everyone has a voice in setting agendas and facilitating discussions. Distribute agendas a few days in advance so participants can prepare thoughtfully. Prohibit side conversations, comments, and interruptions. Start and end on time to respect everyone's schedules. Stay on topic throughout the meeting. Share meeting notes and action plans afterward, and honor commitments and decisions made by the group.
Families should explicitly agree on how important decisions will be made and clarify whether silence indicates agreement or whether everyone must actively voice their position. These seemingly small details prevent future conflicts about whether decisions are truly finalized.
Scheduling and Sustainability
For family meetings to succeed long-term, they must become routine rather than exceptional events. Schedule meetings regularly—whether monthly or several times per year—with set dates established well in advance. Resist the temptation to postpone scheduled meetings, as cancellations often lead to meetings never happening at all. When meetings become habitual, they feel less threatening and more like a normal part of family farm operations.
A typical meeting might cover year-end financials, specific projects like environmental program applications, seasonal management plans with assigned responsibilities and estimated expenses, succession steps including advisory team member involvement, and scheduling for the next meeting. The key is maintaining focus on strategic issues while documenting decisions and action items.
Moving Forward
Communication challenges in family farm succession planning are real and significant, but they're not insurmountable. Understanding generational differences, implementing conversation starters strategically, and establishing regular family meetings creates a framework for addressing difficult topics constructively. The goal isn't to eliminate disagreement or difficult emotions—those are natural when discussing matters as important as family legacy and farm transition. Rather, the goal is to create processes and practices that allow families to work through challenges together, making decisions that honor the past while securing the farm's future for coming generations.
The farms that successfully navigate generational transitions share a common characteristic: they prioritize communication as actively as they prioritize soil health, financial management, or operational efficiency. By treating communication as a skill to be developed and practiced rather than something that should happen naturally, farm families position themselves for successful succession planning that preserves both the farm operation and family relationships for generations to come.
Suggested citation: Wiatt, R. & Bullock, V. (2026, January). Navigating Difficult Conversations in Family Farm Succession Planning. Purdue Institute for Family Business 2026 Newsletter, (1).
Published: February 2026